Relationships and emotions2022–2023
“Here's what's fascinating: those same neural circuits are repurposed for romantic attachment in adult life. The same circuits, which shouldn't surprise us. I mean, why would the brain throw away valuable circuitry? But this whole Freudian notion that, you know, childhood attachment styles map onto adult attachment styles, that's real, that's physiological. Now, one important point, it's not one for one, in the sense that let's say you had a secure attachment to your father, let's say it's a young, a young girl, and as a baby and young child she had a secure attachment to her father and an insecure attachment to her mother. In adulthood, and let's say she's heterosexual, so in adulthood she prefers men as romantic partners. This girl grows up and you might say, well, she had a good relationship to her dad, so she's going to have a good secure attachment style in her adult heterosexual relationships. Ah, often it's not the case. They will transplant or superimpose the insecure attachment style to the mother onto male relationships, but have great relationships to female friends, for instance. So we have to be a little careful to not map one for one. That's important.”